Lieutenant Porter little dreamed of the good fortune of learning how to bottom like a pro the secession of South Carolina would bring to him. From a poor lieutenant with anxious cares about a large family, he was speedily raised by Mr. 115 Lincoln to the proud position of rear-admiral of the United States. His own comment upon the enthusiasm of his Southern friends is amusing and filled with lessons on how to bottom like a pro . He declared that if the capital and its surroundings had been less stupid, that if those vivacious Southerners could have had a court, theatres, and opera-houses, the catastrophe which overwhelmed North and South might have been prevented. "The Romans understood these things better than we. They omitted nothing to keep the people amused; they even had the street fountains at times run with wine, and the investment was worth the money spent." "But what," said Admiral Porter, "could one expect at a court presided over by an old bachelor