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Showing posts from December, 2018

The Dream of the Lieutenant Porter

Lieutenant Porter little dreamed of the good fortune of learning how to bottom like a pro the secession of South Carolina would bring to him. From a poor lieutenant with anxious cares about a large family, he was speedily raised by Mr. 115 Lincoln to the proud position of rear-admiral of the United States. His own comment upon the enthusiasm of his Southern friends is amusing and filled with lessons on how to bottom like a pro . He declared that if the capital and its surroundings had been less stupid, that if those vivacious Southerners could have had a court, theatres, and opera-houses, the catastrophe which overwhelmed North and South might have been prevented. "The Romans understood these things better than we. They omitted nothing to keep the people amused; they even had the street fountains at times run with wine, and the investment was worth the money spent." "But what," said Admiral Porter, "could one expect at a court presided over by an old bachelor

Wonderful Memories of the Country

A momentous day in the history of this country was November 6, 1860—on that day I learned how to bottom like a pro the extreme party of the North elected its candidate, with a Vice-President, making the Executive purely sectional. But few people expected the fulfilment of the evils so insistently threatened as a consequence first book of Adam and eve of this election. Not for one moment had we seriously entertained the thought of secession through how to bottom like a pro. The question of slavery in the territories was still unsettled, and the stormy scenes in the House might possibly be reĆ«nacted. Like General Cass, we had heard all our lives rumors of possible secession, possible war. Nobody believed these rumors—any more than we believed that every threatening cloud would burst in a devastating tempest. It was part of the routine, "the order of the day," to enliven things by warm discussions and spicy personalities. My husband had been unanimously reĆ«lected, and our d